No Questions Asked

Yanni said it was important to love one another. Said it was important to at least learn to tolerate each other so we could live in peace. It so happens some people don't even want to see your face and you end up wondering what you are worth after oh so many years of a sort of peaceful co-existence in civilization. Are you that bad an animal if you're so utterly incapable of some decent friends. But then there's the ideology that it's the 'type' of friends you make and not the number. Couldn't have agreed more right at this very moment. What else can explain being surrounded by animosities. You find yourself standing at the altar and being told you have mortally wounded someone to the heart while you have just claimed that person is inert to all feeling originating from you. You have tried laughing. That worked a while. You tried crying. That ended a mess. Actually not so much a mess because you have heard that person say it is not something he would like to see. You are gently touched by that one utterance. You begin to think it wasn't so bad an idea after all. Then you begin introspecting together. And bang! There she blows. You speak the truth, no one wants to listen. You suffer constant bouts of self doubts and insecurities as it already was. Now you are just subject to more such taunting feelings. You feel like a wreck. You are not satisfied with what you find yourself doing. What is it that you would rather want to do. You have long forgotten those secret urges of self exhibitionism; you're not in touch with that 'you' anymore. You don't know what you want. You don't know what you can or can not. You end up wondering was this all just anther ride; just another experience to shatter you. For that matter, aren't you already shattered? What is left of you, can it be shattered. What is it that you are exactly going through. You only feel the impact of it. You don't quite understand what has happened to you. What you have felt. What you ought to have felt perhaps. All you are left with are wreckages of something that probably was, or was it? You don't know anything anymore. You just sit and wonder. You sit and wonder, if you have a point to make. If you're really on your way to proving something. If you're really on the road to somewhere and not bound to a hypothetical la la land. What is the point in question here. Is it an analysis cum step by step guide to what you felt as you kept going in, into whatever 'that' was or wasn't. Is it a handbook on such rides. If it was a handbook, what are the rules. Do we play by any. Should we play by any. What a muse..